Sunday afternoon......

It is Sunday afternoon here, about 2pm. I am sitting in the computer room in the back of the house with the tin roof. Usually, it is too hot to sit back here. However, the storm started about an hour ago so it is nice and cool. They don't really have down pours in the States like they do here. The locals say that there are normally about four big rains a year. This year is different though. This is the third or fourth already and the rainy season started early. I actually like it quite a lot. It cools things off and gives quite a different ambiance then the normal hot and sticky here in Dakar. When the rain started I had to go around the house and close all the windows because it rains so hard here that the water comes into the house if you don't. Also, there are of course no drainage systems here so the water gets pretty deep outside.

So my lovely roomie and new found buddy, Bronwen left for New York last night. It was actually quite sad. You see, Bronwen grew up here in Senegal. She has so many friends here and they are all amazing, fun, and nice. It's been wonderful to see what it is like to be young here living in Dakar. It truly amazing that this place is in West Africa. There are clubs (or discotheques), billards, beaches to chillax on-ya know? the normal things kids do. People in the States tend to think how bizzare it must be to live over here. It's really not all that different in someways and in fact quite cool as your world becomes inmeshed with all different cultures. You learn franglais, different music from all over the world, different slang, different food, and to chillax in a whole different way. So, back to Bronwen. She left for the States as I said, but this time for good. Her family is moving back to the States next year so this was her final goodbye. I couldn't imagine what she was feeling! Imagine leaving the place you grew up behind and it being so, so far away. Now I am here for another three weeks house-sitting. It's so nice to have this place to stay but I really do miss her already. I am glad it is raining though. It fits the vibe and mood I feel today. I have a good feeling about continuing to see her friends though. As short as the time has been that I have spent with some of them and attempting to speak my intermediate French with an American accent, I will miss them. One of the amazing things is I never feel left out as they always include me.

Well until next time-

Inshallah

Gabrielle

Ponderings

Ok-so I haven't written in awhile. I have been quite sick for while. You see I got parasites somehow. Alas-I went to see the doctor but the medicine he put me on for a week was not strong enough. I remembered Friday that my supervisor is an MD and used to work in the field as one. I asked him what I should do. He was kind enough to pick up the drugs for me and bring them to my neighborhood. After taking them I don't think I've ever been so nauseous in my entire life! Alas, I am feeling a bit better today but we shall see.

Somedays, such as last Thursday, I have started to think of the things I will miss when I get back to the States. I honestly cannot believe that my time here is almost up. However, I feel like I have been here for an eternity at times. One of the main things I will miss is the baguettes. I will miss everyone speaking French around me and my learning of the launguage continually growing. I will also truely miss the boabab trees that are truely magnificent not only in their beauty but in the coolness and shade they provide. In some ways I will miss the lack of stress here. If I'm in a mess or in a jam, there is not a whole lot I can do to get myself out of it. In a weird way that takes the pressure off. I will not miss the electricity or water cuts, however it creates an atmosphere once again of there not being a whole lot you can do. It forces you to learn to cook in candlelight, to read by candlelight, to play boardgames like you were kids as Bromwen and I did last Friday with Monopoly. We laughed as we remembered tournaments our families used to have that would go on for days and even weeks sometimes. Here there isn't the pressure as there is in NYC and at school to always be on top and pressure to succeed beyond measure. The sheer frustration of the mindset here where no one thinks beyond today tends to lend itself towards a whole lot less stress and anxiety. I can now see the immense appeal to this. Imagine a world where you never stressed about tomorrow. Unfortunately, for me this is not quite possible. I was able to get into the mindset for a bit when I didn't feel I was ever leaving here. However, now as I start to feel my time coming to an end, my identity of being American creeps back slowly but surely, starting to worry about finances, school, what will I do when I graduate in a year, etc, etc.

I slept in again today as it is Sunday and you dread the heat you will feel from the intense African sun. As I was drinking my Lipton, I turned to BBC World. They were showing a documentary called "Escape from Luanda". Watching this documentary was just what I needed. You see I have not left the house in two and a half days due to my illness. I was writing in my journal last night how I feel I have lost my passion, my inspiration. I have been on the journey since August of 2000 to make an impact, to help others, to serve. Here I do not feel I have been able to do this at all. Perhaps something I have learned while working here is that I desire and thrive more in a hands-on basis atmosphere. This documentary is about a music school in the capital of Angola. Angola is a country ravaged my war for many years. A woman in the community decided to start this school and has given hope and opportunity to many.

I find myself now at a point I feel I have never been at. I am almost 28 and halfway through my graduate school career. I am now not sure that I have chosen the right field, the right degree to get. You see, I have always been the person who knew what she wanted and went after it with nothing stopping her. Now, I am not sure what that is anymore.

Gabrielle

Things I am most thankful for today.

• aircon in the office
• the good doctor I saw yesterday
• clean water and running water
• the ground beef I had for dinner last night-protein! yay
• electricity
• friends
• Bromwen
• opportunities